kitten
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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A Very Short Epistolary Novel
Dear LJ:

You are a h0r.
You are an even bigger h0r than vylit.

Very Little Love,
Amy

~*~

Dear Amy:

Yes, I am a h0R. But no one is a bigger h0r than vylit.

Love,
LJ


~*~

Dear LJ:

Yes U R!eleventy-1!

Screw you,
Amy


~*~

Dear Amy:

I stand corrected.

h0rishly yours,
LJ


~*~

The End

___

Epilogue:

Dear world: Plz buy my novel am poor send money or also commas but NO MORE CATS.

(Deleted comment)

mpoetess

2004-12-13 06:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

NO MORE CATZ U R BAD OMG!!1!

gchick

2004-12-13 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

dear mpoetess,

No Cats For You! But,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

mpoetess

2004-12-13 07:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

Commas! Lots, and lots, and lots, of commas!

3jane

2004-12-13 09:27 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, like commas are such an improvement. Now you've just got pauses at the end of pauses instead of clawses at the end of pawses.

mpoetess

2004-12-13 09:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

[...] O.O

*awards you the kitty-kat/grammar OTP of 2004 award*

*neglects to mention that it's a jug of cat-litter*

*but really fine, high-quality cat-litter, the kind that won't get stuck in your LitterMaid*

3jane

2004-12-13 09:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

*facepalms* I can't believe I got that line wrong. (It should, of course, be pauses at the end of clauses instead of clawses at the end of pawses).

And dude, I'll always take kitty litter. My cat refuses to use it (he only goes outside) but it makes excellent traction on the ice outside.

mpoetess

2004-12-14 06:06 am (UTC) (Link)

I had to read it three times before I saw that not-rightness of it, so I knew what you meant!

We definitely use the litter, what with the nine indoor cats. But we also keep a bag in the trunk of the car for a) weight and b) traction.

estepheia

2004-12-13 05:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

I also have a few letters for you, Amy, so you can spell Please.

e a s e

Wouldn't dream of sending you cats. But maybe a nice little fishy for your cats?

mpoetess

2004-12-13 07:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

I also have a few letters for you, Amy, so you can spell Please.

But what will I do with my extra z?

But maybe a nice little fishy for your cats?

Yes, p,l,e,a,s,e!

chicken_cem

2004-12-13 08:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

U R SO funeeee! Hor hor hor hor h ahahahaha hahah hor hor hor !!!!1!!

mpoetess

2004-12-13 08:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

h0r!1! Wif a zeeero. Silly h0r!1!

vylit

2004-12-13 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

Dood, eye em sow naut ae h0r. Ure stoopid aend a beeyotch.

kis mi asss,

V

mpoetess

2004-12-13 08:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yiss U r a h0r,,,,,,,, (C mi nu commmmmas? They r kool!!!1),,,,, but LJ is a beeger h0r!1! U shud B happy, u r not as beeg a h0r as LJ!