illyria
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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...your six-monthly dose of WTF
Xander/Illyria, PG-13, 350 words, post-everything



Here's The Thing

Here's the thing: it doesn't matter. He knows she's some ancient indescribable Thing that's so old it doesn't even have a concept of good or evil, and he knows she's drying away in the body of a girl Willow used to trade digital snapshots and recipes for dimensional armageddon with over g-mail because of the huge filesize limits on attachments, and he knows it's awful and horrible for everybody who ever knew the girl, and somewhere inside that branch-thin, brittle eggshell of a body, it's awful and horrible for the ancient indescribable Thing that stares out at him from ice-blue eyes that don't reflect at all, and he shouldn't want to touch it with a ten foot pole, let alone his roughened hands.

And he doesn't care.

He doesn't care because she's not a hundred girls in a rainbow of skins, all too young to know they're going to die trying to save the world, and she's not one single golden one who knows and knows and knows and never stops because she can't. She's not his tart, dead almost future, already bloody before the rubble smashed in on her and she disappeared into the hole, and she's not Willow, his green and living almost past, who shudders when she passes them in the hallways of Council HQ, and doesn't know what to say to him when she catches him alone, without Illyria pressed against his mouth to steal his words away.

She's nothing of anything that he's ever seen or known before, and for that-- not even for the ratchety tilt of her head or the moments when he can almost read laughter in the corners of her pale blue mouth as she stares at him-- just for being not, he would be here now, in her bed, letting her touch him with small, cold fingers, curious and hungry, taking what she can, what she wants, because...

And here's the thing - he doesn't even know why. She's white and blue and naked in his arms, and he doesn't know why she's here, and it doesn't matter. He doesn't care, because the thing is.... It's....

He doesn't know what the thing is, and that's maybe, after all these years, the best thing of all.

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kita0610

2006-04-03 06:44 am (UTC) (Link)

Oooh. That was....kinda creepy.

I loved the "tart almost future" and "green almost past" too.

Nice.

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:30 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yay kinda creepy! (Isn't Illyria always? *grin*)

Thankee!

spike21

2006-04-03 07:20 am (UTC) (Link)

oh YES!!! Fucking beautiful. And perfect. Of course he doesn't know what the thing is.

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Xander's kinda ...built around the fact of not knowing what the thing is, I sometimes suspect.

Danke schon!

grey_bard

2006-04-03 08:14 am (UTC) (Link)

Oh, Xander. In a strange, strange way, that might even work. Very nice turn of phrase, and oddly credible.

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you! It's honestly a crackass pairing that popped into my head purely because I'm playing one in an RPG and (hopefully) soon to play the other, and I wondered how it might work out if they were actually thrown together in a canon situation.

trepkos

2006-04-03 10:06 am (UTC) (Link)

He would so do that!

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

He would, yis. He vacillates between Liking Things That Are Not Good For Him, and not knowing how he managed to find a good thing, when he has it.

I'm... not actually sure where this falls. ;-)

wesleysgirl

2006-04-03 01:01 pm (UTC) (Link)

Ooooooh. Love it. Gorgeous. :-)

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

*smooch* Thankee!

ladycat777

2006-04-03 01:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

That was amazingly beautiful, in a creepy, broken way -- I love the almost pasts and almost futures when he describes the great loves of his life, and I love that he can't name Anya, only call her a tart. This was lovely.

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

*tilts head* Ooh, I hadn't actually intended it as a noun? I was going for tart as an adjective describing her. (And playing back to the Anya fic I did where she was ruminating on lemon juice.) But... it works that way too, in ways I hadn't been thinking about.

journalkitten

2006-04-03 01:13 pm (UTC) (Link)

He is such a demon magnet ;-) I likes.

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:41 pm (UTC) (Link)

Indeed he is, and occasionally he's lucky enough to find one that doesn't want to eat his head for breakfast. *nodnodnod*

Thankee!

janedavitt

2006-04-03 01:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

I read this because it's you and I wanted to see what you'd do with this pairing.

Wow. Gorgeous imagery, chilling and scary and sad and insightful.

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

I wanted to see what you'd do with this pairing

Make scary! Whee!

...sometimes I am five.

*smooch*

nasty_shrew

2006-04-03 01:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

she's not Willow, his green and living almost past, who shudders when she passes them in the hallways of Council HQ

I read this line outloud because it's beautiful and sad and just a fantastic snip of prose. The pairing is inspired, too. I never thought of them together before and now I can't think of her with anyone else :)

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:45 pm (UTC) (Link)

Clearly everyone needs either a Xander or a Spike. *grin*

Thank you!

(Deleted comment)

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hee - yay, everyone thinks I'm creepy! Wheee!

I... may need coffee.

Thank you so much.

havocthecat

2006-04-03 01:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not a pairing I would have initially thought of, but a good one. Which also weirds me out a bit. Poor Xander, he's so fucked up after everything, but also still clinging to whatever he can to remain stable.

And your imagery is just perfect, OMG.

mpoetess

2006-04-03 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

This... in no way came about because I said "Ok, so what would happen if I paired my current FH character with my next FH character...."

And vielen Dank!

(no subject) - havocthecat, 2006-04-03 11:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)

xanphibian

2006-04-03 03:22 pm (UTC) (Link)

Huh. I like this a lot. I've had a Willow/Illyria idea stuck in my head for a while, but this is nothing like that, and this is original and so perfectly XANDER. I mean, really, it's XANDER.

mpoetess

2006-05-11 01:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

Gah, I lost track of comments on a fic post! Rarr at self!

Thankee - I've... clearly got Xander on the brain, but I'm trying to transition into thinking of, and eventually like, Illyria too, so it seemed like a cool way to play with that would be to throw them together.

thebratqueen

2006-04-03 03:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Neat!

mpoetess

2006-05-11 01:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Danke!

You do not see the datestamp. This is not the month-late response you are looking for. *handwavey*

(Deleted comment)

mpoetess

2006-05-11 01:41 pm (UTC) (Link)

Not crack so much in the DP sense of crack, more in the seeming randomness of the interactions taht could've brought these two characters together.

I'm not sure if it's sad or ... not exactly hopeful, but about the unknown? Xander knows humanity and fragility intimately; Illyria's something new, and he can't fathom why she's interested in him or why he's actually interested in her, and that gives him a sort of comfort, because maybe it's not the same old pattern repeating.

wolfling

2006-04-03 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

You wrote Giles/tree; I suspect you could make me believe pretty much any pairing. :)

And yeah, this works. Very well in a shivery almost creepy if I look at it too long sorta way :)

mpoetess

2006-05-11 01:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

*makes note to write Sam/Dean/car....*

*suspects someone has already written it*

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