Francine - harvest
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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Oooh, I like puca's better...


5 People You'd Like To Be Kidnapped By (For Very Important Reasons That Only You Can Solve) And Go on A Wild Car Ride Through The Desert Causing Mischief With, And Even Though It Might Be Scary For The First 18 Minutes, It All Turns Out OK And A Fun Time Is Had By All.

1. zortified. 'Cause you know there'd be nekkid men and philosophy involved.

2. The Doctor (mark vii) and Ace. Time travel! Exploding deodorant cans! Cute alien with inexplicable Scots accent and a penchant for purposely mixing his idioms! Cute wannabe rough!girl whose sekrit shame is that her real name is Dorothy, but who isn't afraid to wear Blue Peter badges on her jacket! And as long as I'm not Ace's male love interest, there's a fairly good chance I won't either die or turn evil.

3. Chance Harper (DB Sweeney) from Strange Luck. He's hot, sweet, puppy-faced, and if I stick close enough, hopefully his amazing powers of good luck will protect me from falling satellites, enraged truckers, or whatever else we might encounter in The Desert TM. Plus he might bring that redheaded waitress with the legs along. Grrrruummm.

4. Joss Whedon. We'd be out in The Desert TM for at least 4 hours before he realized that he only thought he was the one doing the kidnapping. The car would be parked, cold cans of pepsi would be retrieved from the cooler, and there would be a Talk. (TM)

5. The idiot who decided to teach impressionable young grocery baggers that "Paper or Plastic" is a question that should be avoided on pain of death, and that the default answer to the Question That Dares Not Speak Its Name is 'plastic.'

Topics to be discussed on our cross desert spree would include:

"A six pack of 24 oz soda bottles that comes with a built-in handle does NOT need to be put in its own plastic bag"

"Rolling one's eyes is not an acceptable response to 'Could I please have that in paper' after the bagger has shoved the customer's purchases into a plastic bag while the customer was distracted by answering the cashier's question"


"Why 'Uh...we don't got paper...'is not an acceptable answer at any time."

After which I suspect I would kick him out of the car and leave him for the coyotes.

Re: my job is a glamourous job


2002-09-16 08:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

I knew he wasn't just an urban legend...

C'mon, you can tell me -- does he gove classes in the blank look, followed by put-upon sigh when the customer actually *asks* for paper? Or is that just in my neighborhood.


No, the sad and disillusioning part is when you've been asking for paper for three weeks straight, and you finally realize Kroger isn't *going* to order more paper. It's a hoax. A trick, to keep us coming back...

Re: my job is a glamourous job


2002-09-17 04:59 am (UTC) (Link)

No, no, he doesn't. Unless by "classes" you mean "demonstrations."

At least you only have to endure the blank look on grocery day. It's my coworkers who're administering it, yo, and it's not reserved for the customer.

Also, you may be dealing with some reflexive annoyance. The "rebag this" demographic is pretty limited to old ladies who want their seventy boxed candy bars packaged individually for better weight distribution. You could try rephrasing, or possibly delivering the request in opera.

Re: my job is a glamourous job


2002-09-17 06:25 am (UTC) (Link)

Could be, re rebagging. But it's usually *one* plastic bag, that the bagger has already dumped several items into while the cahsier has distracted me by asking for the discount card I didn't bring with me. And when I ask politely if I could have those items (as well as the 20 still on the belt) in paper... well, the look I tend to get is the same one I get from my cat when I offer her generic store brand catfood. :)

Re: my job is a glamourous job


2002-09-17 08:36 am (UTC) (Link)

Stare at the buisiness end of a conveyor belt for too long, and everyone looks like generic store brand catfood.

You would love me. I'm a dropper. And I forget that one person's requests aren't applicable to everyone, so twelve people get paper bags inside of doubled plastic ones. :)

Re: my job is a glamourous job


2002-09-17 08:57 am (UTC) (Link)

[nod] Yeah, I know the feeling. I was a cashier at Walgreens for far too long, aka several months.

I honestly don't mind people who drop things, or are absentminded or don't *hear* me when I ask for paper, etc. Only people who give me attitude for interrupting their busy day. :)