Francine - harvest
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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Oooh, I like puca's better...


5 People You'd Like To Be Kidnapped By (For Very Important Reasons That Only You Can Solve) And Go on A Wild Car Ride Through The Desert Causing Mischief With, And Even Though It Might Be Scary For The First 18 Minutes, It All Turns Out OK And A Fun Time Is Had By All.

1. zortified. 'Cause you know there'd be nekkid men and philosophy involved.

2. The Doctor (mark vii) and Ace. Time travel! Exploding deodorant cans! Cute alien with inexplicable Scots accent and a penchant for purposely mixing his idioms! Cute wannabe rough!girl whose sekrit shame is that her real name is Dorothy, but who isn't afraid to wear Blue Peter badges on her jacket! And as long as I'm not Ace's male love interest, there's a fairly good chance I won't either die or turn evil.

3. Chance Harper (DB Sweeney) from Strange Luck. He's hot, sweet, puppy-faced, and if I stick close enough, hopefully his amazing powers of good luck will protect me from falling satellites, enraged truckers, or whatever else we might encounter in The Desert TM. Plus he might bring that redheaded waitress with the legs along. Grrrruummm.

4. Joss Whedon. We'd be out in The Desert TM for at least 4 hours before he realized that he only thought he was the one doing the kidnapping. The car would be parked, cold cans of pepsi would be retrieved from the cooler, and there would be a Talk. (TM)

5. The idiot who decided to teach impressionable young grocery baggers that "Paper or Plastic" is a question that should be avoided on pain of death, and that the default answer to the Question That Dares Not Speak Its Name is 'plastic.'

Topics to be discussed on our cross desert spree would include:

"A six pack of 24 oz soda bottles that comes with a built-in handle does NOT need to be put in its own plastic bag"

"Rolling one's eyes is not an acceptable response to 'Could I please have that in paper' after the bagger has shoved the customer's purchases into a plastic bag while the customer was distracted by answering the cashier's question"


"Why 'Uh...we don't got paper...'is not an acceptable answer at any time."

After which I suspect I would kick him out of the car and leave him for the coyotes.


2002-09-17 02:56 am (UTC) (Link)

See in the UK we only get plastic, no paper and I don't get how anyone can carry the paper bags without them a. ripping, b. falling out of grasp as they have no handles c. be better than a plastic bag.

Please explain as I'm a terribly confused Brit with limited bag choices.

Personally I thought the whole 'paper or plastic' thing was referring to paper=cash, plastic=credit/debit card for payment, doh!


2002-09-17 06:17 am (UTC) (Link)

The paper bags are large and thickly constructed, for one. They also do make paper bags with handles; one of our two major supermarket chains (Marsh) around here has them. We just happen to have one of the other stores (Kroger) on the way home from work, which is why I bitch about them in particular.

But also, we tend (from what I've seen while I was grocery shopping in England) to buy more groceries at a time than you lot -- the supermarket is larger and further away, usually, so it's stock up when you get there so you don't have to go back for another week or so.

The things I don't like about plastic bags (aside from US supermarkets trying to put them on *everything* -- witness complaint about putting things that have their own freaking handle already, being shoved into plastic bags) are:

The plastic is not a renewable resource; the paper is.

The handles of the plastic bags cut off the circulation in my hands when I try to carry the 10 or so that are required to hold what could easily go in four paper grocery bags.

Th plastic bags more easily cause damage to perishable items, and spill much more easily in the car, when they're being transported home.

And, purely a personal one: the plastic is not as useful to me in the home -- the paper ones double as wastebin liners; the plastic are tossed out, or used to carry lunches to work, and there's *far* more plastic bags than I'll ever need as lunchbags.



2002-09-18 01:28 am (UTC) (Link)

Thanks for explaining, its so much clearer now!