Francine - harvest
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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Oooh, I like puca's better...


5 People You'd Like To Be Kidnapped By (For Very Important Reasons That Only You Can Solve) And Go on A Wild Car Ride Through The Desert Causing Mischief With, And Even Though It Might Be Scary For The First 18 Minutes, It All Turns Out OK And A Fun Time Is Had By All.

1. zortified. 'Cause you know there'd be nekkid men and philosophy involved.

2. The Doctor (mark vii) and Ace. Time travel! Exploding deodorant cans! Cute alien with inexplicable Scots accent and a penchant for purposely mixing his idioms! Cute wannabe rough!girl whose sekrit shame is that her real name is Dorothy, but who isn't afraid to wear Blue Peter badges on her jacket! And as long as I'm not Ace's male love interest, there's a fairly good chance I won't either die or turn evil.

3. Chance Harper (DB Sweeney) from Strange Luck. He's hot, sweet, puppy-faced, and if I stick close enough, hopefully his amazing powers of good luck will protect me from falling satellites, enraged truckers, or whatever else we might encounter in The Desert TM. Plus he might bring that redheaded waitress with the legs along. Grrrruummm.

4. Joss Whedon. We'd be out in The Desert TM for at least 4 hours before he realized that he only thought he was the one doing the kidnapping. The car would be parked, cold cans of pepsi would be retrieved from the cooler, and there would be a Talk. (TM)

5. The idiot who decided to teach impressionable young grocery baggers that "Paper or Plastic" is a question that should be avoided on pain of death, and that the default answer to the Question That Dares Not Speak Its Name is 'plastic.'

Topics to be discussed on our cross desert spree would include:

"A six pack of 24 oz soda bottles that comes with a built-in handle does NOT need to be put in its own plastic bag"

"Rolling one's eyes is not an acceptable response to 'Could I please have that in paper' after the bagger has shoved the customer's purchases into a plastic bag while the customer was distracted by answering the cashier's question"


"Why 'Uh...we don't got paper...'is not an acceptable answer at any time."

After which I suspect I would kick him out of the car and leave him for the coyotes.

Re: Oh Ye Who Has Never Been a Bagger


2002-09-17 11:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

paper bags are a bitch to pack. While they do carry more, they have to be packed in *just* such a way

Sayeth Maeyan, the "Paper not plastic, or die" fanatic:

I was dragged along on god only know how many shopping trips with my mom simply so I could bag groceries! With six- plus mouths to feed we did a LOT of shopping at Cubs. Cubs, which for ANYONE who never had the blessing of knowing Cubs when it kicked major boo-tay was one of the early wholesale-type stores, had the lovely policy of letting the customer bag their own groceries. I learned quick that there was a method to the madness. Especially since I had to carry them from the car as well.


Now, when I put stuff on the belt and ask for paper, I put the stuff up in the order to best bag it - boxes in size order, then cans, then bottles and odd stuff, then soft stuff like bread or bagged items (which should ALWAYS go on top).

So why oh why do they then re-arrange the stuff so that the eggs end up on the bottom, the bread and potato chips in the middle, and the entire bag is "capped" with the stupid frozen mostaciolli box?

And who, by the way, suggested the cashier/bagger respond to the request for paper with "but plastic is recyclable" ?

Once I was woken up at the ungodly hour of 8am on a Saturday by a phone call from a store manager who apologized to me for being out of paper and assured me that if I came in that day I would find they had received a shipment just that previous evening. See? Being fanatical and threatening to go home and fetch my flaming sword of retribution (well, two more payments and it's mine) does pay off sometimes. I just love it when they grovel ^_^