I Blame the Dutch (mpoetess) wrote,
I Blame the Dutch
mpoetess

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Because, of course, when I have a new toy...

Let's see-- Jen's asleep, and the last thing she wants to hear is me whining at her about CG anyway. James has gone off to spend time with Lorelei. Honestly -- how *dare* she actually want to do something with a real live, 3-D person! And I can't get into my Lycos account, because they're upgrading the server-- so I can't even read e-mail and *pretend* there's somebody to talk to. Check to see if Saber responded to my less-than-subtle hints that CG is driving me insane, and if she *loved* me...

Okay, I wasn't that whiney. Close, but...

It's nice. No, it's beyond nice, to have people you respect say that they like your writing. But... I'm stuck. I'm in a bad place, and I need help. And having people *listen* to my plot blatherings, say yepyepyep that sounds fun, or nod sagely... doesn't help when every plot blather I *have* elicits this reaction. And none of them seem to work out. I have no frame of reference -- and I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't *want* to abandon these characters. This plotline. (Because I may not have a *plot*, but I have a plotline, of sorts. Which is get the jerks to admit that they love each other, even if they don't say it in so many words yet, get them *out* to the Scoobies, and let them give each other all the h/c they can stand, once they're able to admit that it's okay to need it. Maybe tackle a few things from Season 5.) But not when I can't get them out of where I've put them, and everything they think is something I've had them think before, and every scene I do ends up angsty, and I can't even make their dialogue feel natural anymore.

Hrrm. That didn't sound like a major whinge, did it. What it comes down to is, it's not right, I feel like I keep turning it into shit, yet I can't concentrate on anything else, because of the desire to *fix* it. And I need *help* and nobody quite knows how to. Or can, or something.

(And on a humorous note, the first alternate suggestion the livejournal spellchecker had for 'Scoobies' was 'scabies.')
Tags: cg-meta
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