I Blame the Dutch (mpoetess) wrote,
I Blame the Dutch
mpoetess

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Scary Movie

Another silly challenge thing.
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"Eep!" Willow squeaked, scrunching further back into the sofa cushions and knocking the bowl of popcorn all over Buffy's lap.

Xander laughed. "You've seen the thing that came when the Hellmouth opened, and you're freaked out by Friday the 13th, part 5?"

"Well, that heavy breathing guy is creepy!" she protested, while Buffy picked popcorn off her skirt and dumped it back in the bowl.

"I have to agree with Xander, Will. I mean, we've faced vampires, zombies, bug people, giant snakes..."

"Crazy-freaky-sex-inducing poltergasms..."

"Yes, thank you, Xand, I was trying to ignore that one..."

He grinned. "Hey, it's not good to repress. *They're* not repressing." Xander pointed to the scantily-clad teenage couple on the screen, who were busy demonstrating the other reason he'd had to show his ID at the Piggly Wiggly before they'd rent him the video.

Willow shook her head. "That's what I mean. Creepy. I *know* it's supposed to be some kind of big Freudian metaphor about how having premarital sex makes bad things happen -- which, y'know, I think we got that message on our own -- but all I can think when I see a couple making out in one of these movies is..."

"Kill...kill...kill..." Xander whispered, advancing around the back of the couch towards her and holding his hands out like claws, until he touched the back of her neck.

"Eeep! Xander!"

"Scaredy-cat!"

Willow stuck her tongue out. "Poophead. I wasn't scared. Your hands are cold." She turned to Buffy. "I can't help it. I *know* it's just a movie, and we've seen all kinds of freakier stuff. It's totally unrealistic, too. I mean, mindless naked groping in a public place is always less than intelligent--"

"Yup. I'd much rather grope mindlessly in a private naked place," Xander said, leaning over the back of the couch between them.

Willow glared, and threw popcorn at his head, then continued as if he hadn't interrupted. "But it doesn't make a knife-wielding maniac appear *every* time. Heck, this time all they did was *kiss*, and BING! Just like they sent up the Jason-Signal."

Xander looked doubtful. "Are you *sure* that doesn't happen in real life? Every time I made out with Cordy, a nasty monster appeared." He paused. "Oh. Yeah. That was Cordy. Still -- maybe we should test that theory. We're close enough to teenagers that it should still work." He looked hopefully at Buffy.

Who started to throw popcorn at him too, then suddenly grinned. "Okay."

"Okay?" Xander's eyes bugged out.

"Sure." She leaned over to Willow, winked, and kissed her.

"Hey, no fair," Xander said. Then he blinked. "Uh... huwhamumnnahuh? What am I saying. Please continue testing; I'll just make notes."

Buffy pulled away and rolled her eyes. "And now for something completely different -- a man who doesn't get off on the idea of two girls kissing, even if it's fake."

"I protest -- it takes much more than kiss--" Xander stopped. "Will? You okay?"

"Uh... huwhamumnnahuh?" she answered. When they'd stared at her for a full ten seconds, she pointed at the screen. "Look! Someone's killing naked teenagers!"

The End

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The challenge being: Must feature only Xander, Willow and Buffy. No other Scoobies or supporting characters may appear. A horror film (classic or modern) that the three are watching and commenting on. Mention of a Piggly Wiggly.
An accidental kiss between two of the three, and a reference to Monty Python.
Tags: fic-posted
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