I Blame the Dutch (mpoetess) wrote,
I Blame the Dutch

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My [insert character here]

I find myself tempted to do this for Xander and/or Spike, this thing that I think orginated witheliade - because hey, character analysis, chance to say what I love (and don't) about the characters I love, and how I see them.

But I'm oddly reluctant; it feels too personal. (To write, not to read other people's -- I'm 'there's no such thing as TMI' girl, when reading.) Like I'm opening up my brain and spilling out all my kinks and hypocrisies, admitting the things I forgive them for even though I shouldn't, the things 'my' character wouldn't do even though they've done so in canon, or *would* do even though it's fanonish and widely mocked as so.

This stuff comes out in my fic; I'm not the subtlest person in the world. It's not as if people can't *tell* what my kinks (sexual and emotional) are by what I write, by what I rec, by what I rant about or squee over. But actually saying "*My* Spike thinks..." or "*My* Xander doesn't..." It's like putting the characters I keep safe and protected in my head, out there without the armor of plot and voice and sneaky narrative, where the world can see them naked, and laugh at them.

It's like being naked, myself. And y'all don't want to see me naked. ;-)

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