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Trouble with a capital A
That rhymes with something or other.
September 13th, 2005 
whome
I am not sorry that when you pulled up next to me in your car as I was loading mine with groceries, and said you just had to come over and give me a compliment, then asked if I was single -- pardon me, if I was a 'single lady'-- I said, "No, sorry, I'm not." (Hee. It just now occurs to me that I could've been answering the 'lady' part, quite truthfully.)

Nor am I sorry for following that up with a "Yes" when you said "So I take it that you're a married lady."

This is what you do when a man pulls up to you in a parking lot in his car at night in my neighborhood, even when he's friendly and polite and compliments you on your haircolor and says you should tell your husband he's a lucky guy, then drives away. (Unless you actually happen to be in the market for a guy who pulls up in parking lots at night to ask women if they're single. I am not in the market for same.)

However, I am regretful that even if you asked right at this moment, I would tell the same lie(s), given your subsequent rescuing of my wallet/phone from the cart where I'd left it (admittedly because I was totally flustered by the conversation with you), double attempts to call me at home via my cellphone to let me know you had it, and eventual return to the parking lot to hand it over to me just as I was pulling into a parking spot and panicking because I'd already checked the cart corral and it wasn't there and it has my driver's license and birth certificate and everything I'd actually need to leave the country as I'm planning to do in two weeks.

You, sir, are a genuinely nice guy. And I would totally tell you I'm married again if it would get you to go away and stop making me feel awkward. But now I'd feel bad about it.
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