Ha! [Humpty dance]
Premiere problem solved. How-why?
See, after two months of dealing with file conversion and Premiere crashing and codecs and Premiere crashing and learning how to use rubber bands and Premiere crashing and daring to include an mpeg and Premiere crashing and not saving every 0.5 minutes and Premiere crashing...
I got lost in Adobe-land and forgot the cardinal rule of running a Windows system: (feel free to say it with me, guys and gals) When in doubt, blame Microsoft.
Windows XP installs with the display set at 16 bit instead of 24.
Yes, it was that [expletive deleted] simple.
Also, much hug (and porn) to narcolepticcat.