So, if it's any illustration of how much the handbasket_rpg has eaten my soul, I remembered to tell people that theboobiequeen would be mostly offline this weekend, but didn't remember to say so for myself.
theboobiequeen, really_not_andy and anyoneelseImightplaythatI'mnottellingyou
Ifwhen I do, you can be sure I'll be obsessively refreshing stakebait's post polling gay/bi men on whether they feel slash trivializes or objectifies them.
Personally, I don't think luna_k's suggestion of posting to wider gay-oriented communities, while well-intentioned, is quite the *point* -- because as I was droning repetitively to piedmargaret, most slash fiction is Not About The Gay Experience. It's about the experience of being a bisexual vampire. A guy who's dated women all his life, been pretty much of a sad sack with them and now falls in love with a man, and doesn't know how to deal with it. A Starfleet commander. You get the point. Most slash *fanfic* stories -- and despite the unrepresentatively large number of original character slash writers on my friends list, most slash *is* fanfic -- are about the experience of being Xander Harris and realizing you're in love with your best friend's Watcher. Etc. Not about The Gay Male POV, unless you're writing QAF slash, or one of the few other canonically gay male characters on tv.
In other words, I think the opinion of gay males who have a clue what fandom/fanfic actually is, is more relevent to the issue of fanfic that features existing male characters in gay relationships, than random gay men who've never trucked with the stuff in their lives. Thus, stakebait's friendslist, and people who wander in from friendsfriends and seeing other fen post about it in their journals, seems much more appropriate to me.