Francine - harvest
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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Nodnodnod.


Incontrovertible, Socratic proof for anyone anywhere who still doubts that Xander could possibly ever be gay:

Universal given: All sex with Faith, no matter the gender, species, or number of the other participants, is by Faith's very nature, gay.

Canon fact: Xander has had sex with Faith.

Ergo: Xander is gay.

Thank you and good night.

P.S. Obviously, this works for Robin Wood as well, but with those eyelashes, was there ever any doubt? Wesley, on the other hand, has had no textual sex with Faith, so sorry folks, he's not gay, he's just British.


chicken_cem

2003-12-07 09:30 pm (UTC) (Link)

Also in Wood's favor is Andrew's supposedly misplaced opinion in Storyteller that the "thing" between Wood and Spike was "sexual tension you could cut with a knife".

Andrew actually casts a gay light on everyone, though. And I am biased, since I am completely certain he wants to shag both Xander and Spike, maybe at the same time.

You are right about Faith ... not only does this lesbian find her sexy, but even supposedly straight guys like Doug Petrie think she gives off queer vibes.

mpoetess

2003-12-07 09:34 pm (UTC) (Link)

Also in Wood's favor is Andrew's supposedly misplaced opinion in Storyteller that the "thing" between Wood and Spike was "sexual tension you could cut with a knife".


Actually I didn't see that as misplaced at all! Er, I mean, obviously slashers wouldn't, but I don't think the PTB even wanted us to see it as misplaced. Along with the desire for revenge, there was sexual tension there. There just was. Plus at that point Spike didn't know Wood was Nikki's son, on his part all it could be was sexual tension. (Whether you want to consider it tension over Buffy, of course, is left in the air!)

(no subject) - chicken_cem, 2003-12-07 10:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mpoetess, 2003-12-08 06:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chicken_cem, 2003-12-08 08:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mpoetess, 2003-12-08 11:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
Faith is totally queer - wickedripeplum, 2003-12-07 09:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Faith is totally queer - chicken_cem, 2003-12-07 10:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)

enfaith

2003-12-07 09:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

no cannon sex?? she had him bound and gagged for *hours* before angel walked in. and when she jumped on his lap, he screamed. she wasn't torturing this thighs- it was his penis, dammit, his penis.

though before that, i'll give you the british thing.

mpoetess

2003-12-07 09:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

*g*

Also, ow.

Nah, serious for a second, I wouldn't count that one. Assault doesn't count in the "sex with faith makes you gay" sweepstakes; only consensual sex.

Nonseriously, Wes is queer as a three dollar bill anyway, Faith notwithstanding! But I must have something to tease thebratqueen about.

(no subject) - enfaith, 2003-12-07 09:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)

circe_tigana

2003-12-07 09:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Your sophistry confounds and amazes.

mpoetess

2003-12-07 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

You think that one confounds and amazes?

Universal given #1: All sex with Faith, no matter the gender, species, or number of the other participants, is by Faith's very nature, gay.

Universal given #2: There is no one in the universe, fictional or non, who would not want to have sex with Faith.

Ergo: Everyone is gay.

Thank you and good night.


(no subject) - circe_tigana, 2003-12-07 09:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mpoetess, 2003-12-07 09:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mpoetess, 2003-12-07 09:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - circe_tigana, 2003-12-07 10:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mpoetess, 2003-12-07 10:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - circe_tigana, 2003-12-07 10:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - xanphibian, 2003-12-08 04:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Re: *wild mad applause* - eliade, 2003-12-07 10:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: *wild mad applause* - chicken_cem, 2003-12-07 10:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: *wild mad applause* - circe_tigana, 2003-12-08 06:48 am (UTC) (Expand)

10zlaine

2003-12-07 10:32 pm (UTC) (Link)

To me Faith is like Brian Kinney. Given the fuckability of both and your posit (which applies to both, thereby giving representation to both the xx and xy), I absolutely cheer your correctness in that everyone is gay based on the absolute existance of these two characters.

mpoetess

2003-12-08 06:03 am (UTC) (Link)

xx + yy = gay!

cosmic

2003-12-07 10:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hee. I like this theory.

But I thought we all agreed that Faith and Wes SO had sex in the car before they headed over to the Hyperion in Salvage. Which would make Wes British AND gay, which, okay, is really the same thing. ;)

mpoetess

2003-12-08 06:04 am (UTC) (Link)

But not textual sex. Yes, of course we agree --- but this formula is for the people out there who are incapable of seeing subtext!

lumenara

2003-12-07 11:01 pm (UTC) (Link)

Because there's nothing more fun than using heterosexual encounters as incontrovertible proof of gayness.

mpoetess

2003-12-08 06:04 am (UTC) (Link)

Duh!

(no subject) - lumenara, 2003-12-08 10:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)

mpoetess

2003-12-08 06:05 am (UTC) (Link)

Actually, it's a highly silly slap back at the people who like to use heterosexual encounters as incontrovertible proof of not gayness. Because bisexuality is a myth.

Whee, I'm a myth!

(no subject) - lumenara, 2003-12-08 10:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)

adamlizz

2003-12-08 02:18 am (UTC) (Link)

I'll agree with everything up until "Wes is not gay". Because he had sex with Angel, and everyone who has sex with Angel gets to be gay, including Buffy... Wait... I lost my track.

Anyway, yay for the Xander proof!

mpoetess

2003-12-08 06:07 am (UTC) (Link)

Wes is as gay as Pirate Jack Sparrow -- but he doesn't get to use the Faith-clause to prove that he's textually gay. alas. ;-)