I Blame the Dutch (mpoetess) wrote,
I Blame the Dutch

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Jello, lotion, or butter-flavored-Crisco?

Fandom Boys Will Do Boys... Thanks to us...
What Pairing popped your slash cherry?Reading or writing? Reading = Blake/Avon or Avon/Vila; same zine. Writing = Willow/Tara for first ever, Spike/Xander for first smut.
Condoms in fanfiction, Yes or No?Safer sex in fanfiction, unless the lack thereof is part of the intended plot or setting. Human/vampire, vampire/vampire, humans who know they're clean, world with no STDs=not necessary. Human/human, real world, untested, casual or first-time sex=necessary. Not into fantasy pornworld where everything else is as it is in RL but condoms are never mentioned.
Positions? Yes!
Twosomes, threesomes, moresomes?Hell, yes, but like _green_, I don't like threesomes/groups where one or more members is a third wheel, not as loved, etc.
Orgasms in fanfiction: simultaneous, bottom first, or top first?Simultaneous tends to feel twee unless the narration is so enthralling that it pulls me along despite the unlikeliness. Don't care who comes first.
Vampires: Well endowed, average, or petite?Yes? All of the above? Angel is hung like a bull-moose, though.
Force: necessary, enjoyable, or disgusting?I'm not into noncon; consensual violence is ok, and semi-consensual is a fic-by-fic judgement call.
Biting: necessary, enjoyable, or disgusting?Er. Vampire fandom...
Love: necessary, possible, gets in the way?Not necessary for a well-written story; necessary for me to really enjoy (on a personal as opposed to artistic level) or want to reread a story.
Lube: water, silicone, petroleum, blood, semen, none or other?Blood only for vampires and only if it's *not* blood from fucking dry. IE blood from a bite=ok; it's no more or less offputting than any other sort of food-as-lube, for the characters in question. Any of the rest are fine except water, which might as well be dryfucking.
Masturbation: only in emergencies, good practice, fun for the whole family?Can I watch?
Blowjobs: First times, experts, whores, no need to breathe?I don't have a problem with a first-timer being a natural in a story, though I realize it's a cliche by now, and I also realize I'm biased because I've *done* written it. That said, I do tend to give it half an eyeroll these days. And breath-control? Yay vampjobs.
Semen: Hate it, like it, love it, its their only food source?It's semen. It doesn't taste like marshmallow fluff, or castor oil. In general, descriptions of the sex participants not liking the taste, while totally realistic for some people, are not actually sexy, which is sort of the point of porn.
You like your men: Gay, bi, vampsexual, or straight but into one guyAny of the above (Though there's no such thing as "straight" but into one guy, imo, unless there's no sexual attraction to said guy, which sounds rather strained and miserable. The Kinsey scale is our friend.) but my assumption defaults to bi with Jossverse characters, because we know most of them have been attracted to the opposite sex at one point or another.
Relationship status: fuck buddies, lovers, master, slave, Status? there's a relationship?Lovers or fuckbuddies (or fuckbuddies who could become lovers). Master/slave doesn't do much for me, though the individual sex acts they get up to might push my buttons, unrelated to the m/s status.
Roles: man/woman, man/man, dom/sub, top/bottom?Xander/Spike. Er. I mean... A little bit of dom/sub or top/bottom, though really I'm more into reading switch/switch. "Aww, it's *my* turn to get spanked!" Gender stereotype roles like "man/woman" in same-sex relationships (or any, really) squick me, unless it's deliberate kinky roleplay.
No options with these... just type the first thing that comes to mind.
Favorite Slash PairingSpike/Xander
Most Slashable CharacterSpike
Least Slashable CharacterCordelia
Best Fic genre?Meh? *Favorite* fic genre, maybe. Even so, can't really pin one down.
Worst Fic genre?Meh? Again. Least favorite is deathfic, partner!abuse fic, rapefic (where the rape is between the main pairing), or "so depressed the characters should be on suicide watch" fic.
Most over-used fic genre?Don't think there's a most-overused genre. There are recent trends that don't do anything for me, but they're just trends, and they'll pass or they won't. I have a back button.
Penis?Cock (default) or dick (POV of young male American character). Also shaft or length, but much more sparingly, because that can get. Er. Purple.
Lube?Uh. Yes? Or *really* fucking carefully. Parse that any way you'd like.
Rim?[Sorry, Amy can't take your call right now. She is in her bunk. Please leave a massage. I mean message.]
Glans?Bleh. It doesn't throw me out when reading, but unless there's a reason to be that specific about an area of the penis, it's a bit clinical.
Head?Do I want some? Will I give some? Is it a good word for the tip of a penis? Possibly.
The naughtiest thing that crossed your mind while writing this survey?The thing I didn't write in the worst genre section, and how sometimes it turns me on and squicks me at the *same* time.

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Tags: memes, slash
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