Dear mostly sane family, who've thought for the last ten years or so that I was gay and that my best friend and I were a couple: you're like... a quarter right? [Half wrong = my roomie and I are not nor have we ever been, a couple. An additional quarter wrong would be the part where I like both boys and girls. :) ----] (note to self -- remember to make that Big Brass Balls Award for Lin, for actually asking; it's only about 4 years overdue...)

Dear mom: I can't gauge the depths of the irony contained in the fact that the reason I haven't told you I like girls is that I would enjoy the experience too much. Also, alas, after the initial stunned silence, you would never. shut. up. about it. There might be exorcisms. Despite these facts, the next time you try to fix me up with some nice, polite young man who gets his Thorazine at the same time as you do, there's an extremely good chance that you'll get your own personal National Coming Out Day, delayed just for you. Wherein I conveniently neglect to mention the fact that I also like boys.

Dear people at work who very likely also think my best friend and I are a couple, given large pic of us on my office wall, printouts of TBQ's gay rights essays tacked up in strategic places, and the fact that we've lived together since college: you go right on thinking that. It amuses me because none of you are ever going to win a BBB Award for asking, and thus get disabused of the notion.

In conclusion, bisexuality = Teh Cool, for it doubles the available pool of people I'm currently not having sex with. Go me!