maudlin
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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Mixed Blessings
It's stormy. Which is good. (See icon.)

I'm mildly depressed, which is bad. (See icon.)

I'm not at work, which is good.

I'm not at work because I have a headache so persistent and pre-migrainish that a) I've been fighting it unsuccessfully all weekend, and b) it's making me nauseated. Which is bad.

I suspect the only thing that's going to make me, in the longish run, not mildly depressed, is writing some S/X fic (that doesn't suck). Which is good insofar as I'm at least aware of it.

I don't have an S/X fic that doesn't suck to write; the WIPs still have the same problems that made them WIPs in the first place, the ones I never even started still have the same issues that made me never start them in the first place, and I can pull off spontaneously-generated fic about 2 days out 365. This is not one of those days. And I'm still generally gunshy of writing, trying to avoid it and then not knowing if I'm really enjoying it or not even when it's happening. Which is bad.

Also I'm supposed to be working on my ats_endofdays project anyway. (Which is so not going to be fic.)

I'm going back to bed now. Which is soft and cool, even if it does end up hurting my neck eventually, thus continuing today's theme.

doyle_sb4

2004-10-18 07:27 am (UTC) (Link)

No worries if your ats_endofdays is going to be late. Mine probably will be...

mpoetess

2004-10-18 03:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Mine will probably be on time, actually -- it'll just be graphics, not fic, unless I get attacked by a rabid and unexpected plotbunny.

winterlive

2004-10-18 07:36 am (UTC) (Link)

Try READING fic. It works charms unbeknownst to man. ;)

mpoetess

2004-10-18 07:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Actually, reading S/X fic is the thing that tends to make me mildly depressed that I'm not writing it. :)

winterlive

2004-10-18 07:50 am (UTC) (Link)

Dammit! Okay. *thinks* I'll come up with something... :P

mpoetess

2004-10-18 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Don't break your brain on it! This particular neurosis has been running for a good two years now.

searingidolatry

2004-10-18 07:39 am (UTC) (Link)

Just commenting to say: Damn, that's one beautiful icon!

mpoetess

2004-10-18 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thanks!

thebratqueen

2004-10-18 07:43 am (UTC) (Link)

[snuggle/good vibes]

mpoetess

2004-10-18 03:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

Porn!

ladycat777

2004-10-18 07:46 am (UTC) (Link)

*snugglepets*

*fluffs pillows for you*

*massages neck*

mpoetess

2004-10-18 05:29 pm (UTC) (Link)


ladycat777

2004-10-18 06:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*remembers to be quiet*

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So cute!

(Deleted comment)

mpoetess

2004-10-18 03:28 pm (UTC) (Link)

In the short run, writing anything produces a small burst of "look! I haven't forgotten how to do it!" but it's pretty short-lived, and usually peters out with a kind of bittersweet "Yeah, but you're doing this because you can't pull off S/X anymore" feeling. In the long run, it's reading good (or even decent) S/X that tends to depress me the most, because it's what I most want to write again, and am most afraid of fucking up.

drax

2004-10-18 02:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

Go get the bone pillow off my bed. It should be kinder to your neck than what you got :) Or use Fred. He's used to it.

mpoetess

2004-10-18 03:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

That would require letting cats into my bedroom. While I'm sleeping. Which necessitates either leaving the door open, which means *all* the cats can get in, including Blaize "Miaow, I want on the bed Miaow I won't settle down Miaow pay attention to me", or letting Fred out when he gets sick of being locked in the room. ;-)

Also yes, I'm awake now. :-P

drax

2004-10-18 02:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

And yes, I *know* it's hours later...

mpoetess

2004-10-18 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

Guess what came in the mail? Guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess guess !

drax

2004-10-18 03:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Uhm...

my Yami manga?
No?

Um...

more Hentai games from J?
No?

Um...

A giant blonde brit sock with an attitude?
No?