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I like my nationstate.
Pointystakia Decides:
Vampires on the Dinner Table?
The Issue

In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Pointystakia's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that vampires could be added to the menu.
The Debate

1. "The fact is, the vampire population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson May Jefferson. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have vampire kebabs, vampire pies, vampire-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."

2. "I agree that something needs to be done about vampire over-population," says random passer-by Bill Love, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."

3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Bill Bush. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The vampires were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The vampire is part of what makes Pointystakia a great nation!"


2004-10-21 01:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Ow. Wait. To harvest non-dust vampire steaks, doesn't that mean you have to keep the vamps alive?

This doesn't *really* solve the population problem, now does it?


2004-10-21 01:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hmm. Well, I suppose if you kept them prisoner, so they couldn't make any mroe vampires, and used the constantly renewing resource of quick-healing vampire flesh to feed one's population... Sure, you'd need to provide them with blood, but that's a byproduct of the meat industry anyway, which could still exist as a luxury item...


2004-10-21 01:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

Blood byproduct of vampire steaks should be sufficient to feed the vamps from which the steaks were taken to regenerate the lost flesh?

That's a damn efficient system. Better than a perpetual motion machine.


2004-10-21 01:52 pm (UTC) (Link)

Could be, though we've never seen vamps drink from each other for sustenance (during sex, yes) so dunno if vamp blood would work.


2004-10-21 01:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

Even vampire steaks feeding people and people feeding vampire livestock is a pretty efficient system. Remarkable, really.


2004-10-21 02:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

As the Master says, "truly demonic...mass production!"


2004-10-21 01:51 pm (UTC) (Link)


Anyone for "Mad Vampire Disease"?


2004-10-21 01:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

When I think of vampires on the table, eating them is... ok, perhaps I should rephrase. Using them for food is not the first thing that comes to mind.


2004-10-21 02:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

I'm oddly relieved to hear you say that!


2004-10-21 01:41 pm (UTC) (Link)

Mmm, dusty treats.


2004-10-21 01:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hee! Best nation EVER! *cheers*


2004-10-21 04:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Sam, the Bald Eagle says: You are all...weirdos!

Plus? Speaking for Asmathic Protective Steel Collar Vamp Huggers, Inc., I'd like to point out how Asmathics would suffer from the increased dust count. Do you know how much air pollution the average vamp staking produces? Start an organized campaign and we'll have smog alert days to rival Atlanta!


2004-10-21 05:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

The government of Pointystakia would like to assure that we voted for Option 3. ;)


2004-10-21 04:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

I played a Vampire: the Masquerade (keep thy booing to thyself) game in which I cut off the arm of one of my employees to feed a pack of attack wolves. He regrew every night, so I could always keep them fed at no cost to me! We named the subordinate Kibble.


2004-10-21 05:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

Snerrrrrk. While I would never do this to any of the sexy deep, emotionally complex vampires of the Jossverse, I could totally see the logic of it in a White Wolf game. (I boo not; I like World of Darkness, at least in its early stages.)