Vampires on the Dinner Table?
In a bid to provide a new revenue stream for Pointystakia's Beef-Based Agriculture industry, it has been suggested that vampires could be added to the menu.
1. "The fact is, the vampire population is out of control," says Beef-Based Agriculture spokesperson May Jefferson. "We have to do something about them anyway, so why not market them as tasty snacks? We could have vampire kebabs, vampire pies, vampire-on-a-sticks--the possibilities are endless! Let's not pass up this golden opportunity to provide a feast, if you will, for our economy."
2. "I agree that something needs to be done about vampire over-population," says random passer-by Bill Love, "but eating them? That's kind of gross. Let's just shoot the ones we have to and shovel their bodies into ditches like normal."
3. "I am shocked and appalled!" declared SPCA President Bill Bush. "If anyone needs to be culled, it's us humans. The vampires were here first, remember? We need to take this as a sign to get our industry--agriculture in particular--to back off. The vampire is part of what makes Pointystakia a great nation!"