Francine - harvest
I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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I must not wank. Wank is the freetime-killer. Wank is the little death that brings temporary satisfaction, but too many angry comments to answer. I will stifle my wank. I will bury my head in the sand and permit the wank to go on around me without comment. And when it has gone past, I will turn the browser to fandom_wank to see its path. Where the wank has gone there will be nothing, because the posts will have been locked or deleted. Only screenshots, eternal grudges, and thinly-veiled yet plausibly-deniable trash-talking will remain. Until next time.


(Adapted from the Bene Gesserit Litany of Fear, from Frank Herbert's Dune)


swmbo

2004-10-23 10:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

substitute work for wank and that is how I read it

vylit

2004-10-23 10:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

Dudes, where is the wank? Or the potential for wank.

mpoetess

2004-10-23 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

More the avoidance of me wanking, than other people being wanky. The various meta (often more the comments and responses to it than the essays/rants themselves) that have made me go "Well, er, um..." but be too lazy (and this weekend honestly too busy) to wank about include: canon vs. fanon and why neither word works behind door #1, some conflicting views on epithets in S/X fic that I'm too Slothful to link behind door #2, and why someone slashes plus various responses to it, in the pretty box that Monty Hall is holding. Or you can trade it all for what's hidden in Puppet!Spike's pants...

valarltd

2004-10-24 06:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Since I've already checked Curtain # 2 and the Pretty Box, I must go for Puppet!Spike.

janedavitt

2004-10-24 03:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

Door 1: And I see I'm still their favourite misquoted, misunderstood anathema. Aww...so sweet! ::polishes cloven hooves::

mpoetess

2004-10-24 04:08 pm (UTC) (Link)

What's funny is that I *think* JennyO understands and is sort of validating what you were saying -- but it's hard to tell because academic language aside, Jen doesn't always write clearly. (Which to her credit I think she's stated more than once herself.) I understand most of the jargon, but I'm still getting lost just in the structure of the rant, on what her actual conclusion is.

janedavitt

2004-10-24 04:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, I'm totally lost! I don't even know what _I_ meant anymore, let alone anyone else ::g::

Meh. Too much like hard work. I've got angsty Wes/Faith to write; way more fun, and it's so totally AU, I'm off the radar of canon/fanon.

Funny thing is, without the elephant in the room of the personal bitch-slapping that was going on between Gloss and me a month or so back, I think there would've been a lot of common ground found but when people get worked up and knees start jerking you can forget anything as sensible as a polite, friendly debate.

mpoetess

2004-10-23 10:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

I'm with you til I get to work bringing temporary satisfaction!

minim_calibre

2004-10-23 10:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

Wank? There's wank? AGAIN?

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

mpoetess

2004-10-23 10:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Ehhhhh. There's basic fandom meta stuff (on a couple of unrelated topics) that were I to reply/respond to it, I can see myself replying wankily, and thus I am raising my bottle of Mountain Dew in salute to the great and powerful Sloth, which keeps me from doing so. :) Though the Brain, deprived of wank, makes me think of meta things like the above, in retaliation.

mpoetess

2004-10-23 10:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

metawank things like the above? need more caffeine. or possibly sleep.

minim_calibre

2004-10-23 11:51 pm (UTC) (Link)

See, years ago (or at least, at some point), I discovered that most meta about fic (as opposed to meta about fandom, or even about writing, though I'd be hard pressed to give you a real distinction without hand motions) reads to me as an elaborate justification for personal taste, and while I'll read it if I'm really bored, I mainly keep track of it just to see where the hell the landmines are at at any given time.

Though, of course, I occasionally (when tracking landmines) develop theories about individual taste and interpretations that could in and of themselves be considered potentially wanky. (It's all about frame of reference, baby.) However, wank's not good for me, so I just tend to think these theories instead of writing them. Which makes me sad at times, because I think some of them are damned good theories.

Heh. I'm rambling again. I think that means bedtime.

trepkos

2004-10-24 02:59 am (UTC) (Link)

What is this wanking of which you speak?
Come here and explain it to me....

trepkos

2004-10-24 03:15 am (UTC) (Link)

Sorry, that was a bit forward....

mpoetess

2004-10-24 05:32 am (UTC) (Link)

*g*

There is no Wank. There is only Zul me snickering my way through a new mantra for the avoidance of creating Wank. Om.....

mpoetess

2004-10-24 05:15 am (UTC) (Link)

Well, you put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all--- wait, sorry, that's the Hokey Pokey. ;)

trepkos

2004-10-24 05:25 am (UTC) (Link)

What, the left hand's on vacation?

mpoetess

2004-10-24 05:33 am (UTC) (Link)

The left hand's typing!

byrne

2004-10-24 05:43 am (UTC) (Link)

Ah, one handed internet, how I love theee....

And yes, I'm not wanking in the S/X and V either. See me not there? Not there.


mpoetess

2004-10-24 06:26 am (UTC) (Link)

[wank deleted]

[ravishes wyfe with both hands instead]

trepkos

2004-10-24 05:44 am (UTC) (Link)

And the right foot's crackin' walnuts!

bunnyohare

2004-10-24 08:05 am (UTC) (Link)

Heeee! Dune.

I'm so lame, I never know what the current drama is. So every time I see the word wank mentioned, I hear Spike calling Xander a wanker in an attempt to piss him off so much they end up wrestling (there could be oil, or perhaps chocolatey peanut-butter involved), and see [fill in the blank] pulling on Brian from QAF bits. And yes, I know this a totally different kind of wanking, but that is good, no? Thanks to this post, my brain is a lovely place to be now.


-SmuttyBunny

mpoetess

2004-10-24 02:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

*That* kind of wank should bever be stifled.

journalkitten

2004-10-24 09:01 am (UTC) (Link)

Not to mention - when you wank, god kills a kitten...

trepkos

2004-10-24 09:15 am (UTC) (Link)

No, you've been all wrong-headed about this - he SAVES a kitten!

(Deleted comment)

mpoetess

2004-10-24 02:42 pm (UTC) (Link)