I Blame the Dutch (mpoetess) wrote,
I Blame the Dutch

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And lack of concentration.

So, I've been known, possibly, to procrastinate. Just a little bit.

In the sense that it's been 2 months since I've put out a new chapter of CG, futurefic notwithstanding, especially since I wrote that sometime last year. Er, sometime early last year.

I'm still on the opening scene, the one that I've been writing and rewriting since about a week after I posted "Dark Places." It's stupid. And I almost think I know what I'm doing with it. Until I try to concentrate on it.

I'm just so damned tired. Not tired enough to sleep, mostly. Yet. At the moment. Just too tired to concentrate on one thing. I have to have about 7 windows open at all times, and the only reason I'm getting any writing done at all is that it's co-writing, and I can say "whap!" when I lose focus, and someone else will take over. My brain gets fuzzy.

And that's the way it is *all* the time. When I wake up. At work (where, la la la, I'm obviously not writing). I'm beginning to wonder if I'm anemic again, because I'm *always* tired.

Or maybe my brain is just permanently on the fritz. I can concentrate on games. On pretty moving pictures on the teevee screen. "Oooh! Look! Vamp Xander! Ain't he cute?" On graphic things, and tooling around with my LJ. But write? Make the little wordy things come out in some kind of reasonable order on the page? Make sounds emerge from Xander's mouth that sound like Xander?

Only for about five minutes at a time, then I'm off to another window, or staring off into space, or thinking seriously about zonking onto a pillow.

God help me, I'm listening to "Wild Horses" and remembering that yes, honestly, I do theink that B/A is the final, be-all, end-all, walk off into the sunset, pairing for the two of them.

Oh, and followed by "Close Your Eyes." Nice.

Point? Point?

Something about being easily distracted these days.
Tags: cg-meta, health
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