I Blame the Dutch (mpoetess) wrote,
I Blame the Dutch

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Inspired by a smut!peeves post of stoney321's, I scanned back through my own and co-written fic to see what my/our guys had used for lube. I couldn't remember being terribly egregious (or adventurous) but it's been a fair long while since I've written an explicit m/m sex scene. (0.o I think the last sex scene that could be even described as vaguely explicit is the het scene in The Waking. I obviously need to write some slashy smut, stat. I'll, um. Get right on that. Yeah.)

Naked: generic commercial lube
A Part of This Complete Breakfast: mentioned but unspecified
Reflections: generic commercial lube
Skelping: Heh. Ghost!Lube! Available from a Morrie's near you.
Vamp In the Hat: generic commercial lube
CG: commercial lube, margerine (vampire recipient, though), commercial lube again, saliva (again, Spike as recipient, and in the context of Spike: by the way, that wasn't a blowjob, it was lube -- *spears self on Xander* Xander: Unngh?) , ice-cream (vampire on the bottom again), commercial lube, pretty-much-nothing (Aus/Spike flashback), melted chocolate (again with the vamp on bottom, and from his POV, though the concept in general could squick some folk, I suppose) Also mentioned but not actually seen onscreen would be the ebil peanut butter (suggested but not used, as the idea squicks Xander) Marmite (because Spike is a sick bastich) and more pretty-much-none in relation to vamp/vamp sex.
Domestic Piranhas: icewater (well, melting popsicle in a heatwave), commercial lube, commercial lube, commercial lube, margerine. (And, er. A carrot.) And offscreen, the DP-ubiquitous boysenberry-ripple ice cream, which salmonella-fearers may feel free to decide was only used on Spike.
Getting Bent: saliva, semen, commercial lube
Paving Stones: commercial lube
Let the Punishment Fit...: None. (Angel on the receiving end, and fairly angry sex, though Wes was being careful.)

Conclusions: Am boring? I have apparently always been paranoid about safe-ish smut scenes. DP contains a hell of a lot more innuendo and a lot less actual sex than people think it does. Reading old solo fic makes me want to apologize, and rewrite it. Need to write more porn. Someday.

PS: I know it's 3:30 in the morning. I headache-slept from 4:30 til 9, though, so I'm just now starting to get sleepyish again.
Tags: slash, writing
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