I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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Seekrit Fandom Shames
Because Kita said I had to, and if Kita said I had to jump off a bridge.... well, ok, I'd laugh a lot and then goose her. But anyway.

Do I have any fandom shames that are actually sekrit?

1. I will read... almost any m/m slash that has spanking in it. No matter how bad. I'm pickier about het and f/f, and I certainly won't rec every slash piece I read, but yeah. I'll read it, or at least skim to the money shot. That includes the Dreaded Domestic Discipline, where it's not so much part of a sex scene, or only semi-sexual.

2. I have used 'whelp.' (Once.) Also, chocolate eyes. (Undoubtedly more than once.) Also, 'the younger/taller/other man.' Also, Angelus (but not Angel) speaking Gaelic. Also... winking asshole. *hides from Kita* I'd been under the impression for years that my sekrit shame was having used 'rosebud' but in fact upon looking it up, it was the other.

3. I echo swmbo in saying: Daddy Issues. Daddy kink, of the open Daddy/boy play, with the words, and the pretending to be a child, tends to squick more than appeal (which short-circuits my brain when there's spanking in combination with that, because is it hot? Am I squicked? Is it hot? Am I squicked?) because when they get that far into the role, I feel like I'm usually not reading about the characters any longer, but rather the personas they're playing, who are characters I neither know nor care about. But Daddy issues? Want to be like/don't want to be like my father figure? Want my father figure? Characters starting to play the daddy/boy games and being alternately disturbed and turned on by it? One character acting like a parent to another, esp. if they're lovers, with all the natural messy emotional issues that might bring up? Bring it on.

4. Except, despite my severe pickiness when it comes to human!AU's, and the need for a grammar/spelling beta, and the Daddy/er...well, girl, play... I am loving that Angel/Spike AU. With Spike, the absolute prima donna drag queen. Yeah, that one. I... don't understand either. Well, I do, actually, but only on a button-pushing level, not so much why it pushes the buttons so strongly that my usual anti-buttons don't overbalance it.

5. I am totally one of those Spikefen. I just don't let myself act on it!

ETA 6. Most good fic, especially series, especially in my pairing, makes me hideously jealous that I didn't write it. I have avoided reading various longish completed stories for this reason: to minimize my petty covetousness.


2005-03-07 11:27 am (UTC) (Link)


got a link for this story? I've somehow missed it, and it sounds massively appealing in a sorta 'wha?' sense.


2005-03-07 11:34 am (UTC) (Link)

It's being posted in the sickchicks comm, which is locked to members, and it's not on the author's website yet, since it's a WIP. It's called The Princess and the... and it's really not a badly written story at all (bar some copy-editing issues), just out there in terms of the characters and kinks. (By out there, I mean, on the scale of 'is this my kink' and 'would I usually associate this with Angel/Spike, or Wes/Xander, who are the secondary pairing' not out there on the scale of My kInk Is Ok, Yours Is Not OK, etc.)


2005-03-07 11:39 am (UTC) (Link)

Ah - it's not locked in the author's lj though.

Parts 1-4, Part 5, Part 6.


2005-03-10 04:24 am (UTC) (Link)

thanks for the links - I appreciate it the chance to read it!

found it interesting, although I find that the notion intrigued me more than this story actually did.


2005-03-10 07:50 am (UTC) (Link)

Sort of the reverse for me -- it's hitting kinks of mine quite strongly, but I wouldn't say the storyline, without the kink buttons being pressed, would intrigue me. Crossdressing usually is a pretty neutral 'eh, whatever' for me.


2005-03-07 11:40 am (UTC) (Link)

"and the Daddy/er...well, girl, play... I am loving that Angel/Spike AU."

Damn, I thought I'd just confessed all my secrect shames over on kita0610's lj. Seems I forgot one... La-la-la-la-la... walking through denial land...

Okay! Yes, yes, I'm reading "The Princess and the...", too. I think it's because I have a secret kink for JM in drag.

Oh, but I have trouble picturing her long, flowing locks. I see her in a style more like classic Marilyn Manore... Shorter, perfect platinum blonde and full of curves. *g*


2005-03-07 11:58 am (UTC) (Link)

I have to picture Will being not quite so ripped as JM is in real life, otherwise the illusion of him pulling off really good drag sort of floats away. Not that there's not something kinkily hot about JM as-is in drag, a la Chance -- which scene I've only seen in icons; haven't seen the film yet -- but to buy him as actually feminine-looking, I have to picture an AU where Will isn't quite so hyped on the workouts as JM is. (Also granted that for all I know to the observer's eye, Will looks exactly like JM in a dress, and it's just for himself, Liam, and people who know them, and us since we see trhough their eyes, that the fantasy/mannerisms transform him into a princess-type.)


2005-03-07 12:15 pm (UTC) (Link)

That includes the Dreaded Domestic Discipline, where it's not so much part of a sex scene, or only semi-sexual.

Dude, if we're talking shameful, I'm totally turned on by fictional Dreaded Domestic Discipline. Ahem.

Also, ahahaha on Angelus speaking Irish. Any urge to write that into a fic has been long since beaten out of me by marymac, because then I'd have to live with ranting about my mistakes in both the language and the historical context.


2005-03-07 12:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

Dude, if we're talking shameful, I'm totally turned on by fictional Dreaded Domestic Discipline.

me too

They don't make a font smaller than that, do they. Damn.

Also, ahahaha on Angelus speaking Irish

I made a nod at trying to make it more realistic by Liam having spoken it with his friends, not at home, but yeah, it's still madly fanonish.


2005-03-07 12:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Double Amen for 3 and 6! Though I have pushed through my jealousies and read some quite lovely, lovely stuff. And then quietly ate my heart out later, but, you know.

Daddy!Kink pretty much always squicks me out. I'm all for a good Dom, but a Daddy? ::shudder:: Perhaps the only way it might not is Angelus/Drucilla, because it's canon and she's just so barking mad. I don't know why this is true, but it is.


2005-03-07 12:54 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yeah, I read as much as I can, which is a lot -- 6 never managed to curtail my addiction. There's just beein individual pieces where I went... ah..um. Nah. It actually looks good, and long, and maybe I'll just spare myself the disconfort this time.

I'm better at daddykink with girls, and have no problem with Dru. I'm also better at daddykink with Spike/Angel than I am otherwise. "Daddy" is a bit hard to take, but Da (or Sire, though that can be too ritualised) I don't have a problem with at all.

Mostly I have no issues with sex with father figures, and even acknowledging that dynamic in the text -- but the non-father person playing at being a child, using childish phrases, just squicks. It's not the parental relationship that does it, but the mental de-aging of one character.


2005-03-07 01:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yeah, the "Da" and "Sire" don't bug me...and like you, the adult acting as a child just really......yeah. That's not sexy.

There was a Buffy/Spike I had to read for a judging that had lots of very Bad!Touching Daddy-sneaking-into-the-bedroom stuff in it that really freaked me out - especially because the Buffy as written was acting really, really young. Ew.


2005-03-07 12:39 pm (UTC) (Link)

I...you were winking asshole? Well, uhm, I was little one. So let's call it even?

*gooses you*


2005-03-07 12:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh god, I didn't start it. No. Jesus, I hope not. I just used it. Once. I think the only thing I started was... maybe Xander being a chocolate addict? But that's one of those iffy canon-or-fanon-depending-on-how-much-you-play-it-up things.


2005-03-07 12:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

*gooses you*



2005-03-07 02:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh my god.

defriends you

Nothing personal.


2005-03-07 04:48 pm (UTC) (Link)

Who were you again?


2005-03-07 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

5. I am totally one of those Spikefen.

One of which Spikefen?


2005-03-07 04:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

The crazy Spikefen who think everything in the Buffyverse is about Spike, and OMG he didn't get enough screentime and he was totally being used to fuck with Angel's head and not for his own story and I hate when they make him look stupid for the sake of comedy and WHYOHWHY was there no mankissing on screen WHYWHYWHY?



2005-03-07 11:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

Well, that's all true...


2005-03-08 06:29 am (UTC) (Link)

Yup. But I usually only say it to the voices inside my head. *g*


2005-03-07 03:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

1. I will read... almost any slash that has spanking in it. No matter how bad...That includes the Dreaded Domestic Discipline, where it's not so much part of a sex scene, or only semi-sexual.

Yeah. Me too. Um. *siiiiiiigh*

And, I am going to read that story now. Yes. Because...yes. *siiiigh*

I need to do this meme now.


2005-03-07 04:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hee! *embraces my fellow deviant*

Not that I don't love the menfolk, you know, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to share the blood of the innocent with another woman...