I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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So on the list of euphemisms for female masturbation in the {somewhat annoying} book I'm reading, we'll just pretend we didn't see "Morking the Mindy1" and go right for the one that's going to keep me up late into the night, giggling and blinking:

Auditioning the finger-puppets.

1It's non-fiction, and the author calls this list "Some of my favorite female-specific terms for the Big M." Though there are a few familiar ones, and a few that aren't but at least make sense as something somebody somewhere might actually say, there's also "Paddling through Poon Lagoon" and "tickling the snail." Aren't you glad the One Eyed Trouser Snake has a friend to play with?
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2005-03-25 04:46 am (UTC) (Link)


2005-03-25 05:11 am (UTC) (Link)

I especially like "Genital stimulation via phalangetic motion" -- that's almost as hot as the snail!


2005-03-25 09:15 am (UTC) (Link)

You have to invent something for "z".


2005-03-25 04:50 am (UTC) (Link)

What on earth are you reading?

And....I just woke up my husband, laughing.

You had to ask, didn't you.


2005-03-25 05:42 am (UTC) (Link)

It's called The Straight Girl's Guide To Sleeping With Chicks; I was amused by the inherent contradiction in the title and curious about how tongue-in-cheek the phrasing was. Answer: not very; there's some lip-service to "yeah, yeah, labels are pretty floaty and all kinds of people do all kinds of things" at the beginning, but then on we go with continual and non-ironic references like "Another possibility is that eating pussy raises the same fears in women as getting it up the ass does in men. If we like it, are we homos?" Uh... men can get it up the ass from women. Or themselves. It's impossible by definition to not be involved in a homosexual encounter if you're a woman going down on another woman. So if one likes it, there's a hell of a bigger chance that yeah, hon, maybe at least a little? Than there is in the age-old "No butt-stuff; that's gay" for men.

Or we could be the author, who lives in a world where "unless it rocks your world psychologically as well as physically, you're probably just plain old pussy-lovin' horny girl." Um...

Pretty much every page is annoying me, with occasional breaks for WTF-ery.

Re: You had to ask, didn't you.


2005-03-25 05:46 am (UTC) (Link)

My gracious me. So.

Shouldn't it be titled "Book to Inflate the Hopes of Frat Boys Everywhere?"

Re: You had to ask, didn't you.


2005-03-26 06:59 pm (UTC) (Link)


Poor fratboys, if they bother reading it. The illustrations are a combination of bad line drawings, and photographs of Barbies in various positions.

Re: You had to ask, didn't you.


2005-03-26 08:03 pm (UTC) (Link)


Barbie Porn?



2005-03-25 04:59 am (UTC) (Link)

Umm, hi. I kinda just lurk here but though you'd like this.

**goes back to hiding in the corner**


2005-03-25 05:13 am (UTC) (Link)

See, "Menage a moi " ? That's both clever, and funny. And does not ruin my childhood, unlike "Morking the Mindy."


2005-03-25 05:25 am (UTC) (Link)

Yeah, Morking the Mindy is pretty bad. I would think I would hear Robin Williams in my head a lot if I called it that.

Then again it's better than draining the tuna. Urgh.


2005-03-25 05:49 am (UTC) (Link)

I keep hearing, "Mork calling Orgasm, Come in Orgasm...."

Oh great, now I've really done it.


2005-03-25 06:47 am (UTC) (Link)

*laughs and laughs and laughs*

I'd ask to metaquote, but I'm leaving town, so someone is bound to beat me to it.


2005-03-25 04:13 pm (UTC) (Link)


Nanu! Nanu!

**goes to wash brain out with bleach**


2005-03-25 07:24 pm (UTC) (Link)



::goes to do the same::


2005-03-25 05:04 am (UTC) (Link)

"Morking the Mindy"?

Gahhh! Childhood TV memories scarred forever! ::weeps::


2005-03-25 05:13 am (UTC) (Link)

Right. There. With. You.


2005-03-25 05:46 am (UTC) (Link)

heheheheeeeeee. and the icon!

*snuggles you*


2005-03-26 07:59 pm (UTC) (Link)


This reminds me of an old David Letterman list


2005-03-25 02:13 pm (UTC) (Link)

Top ten things that sound dirty but aren't. Like:

Frosting the Pastry
Skiing on Mt. Baldy

And my fave- Shaking Hands with Abraham Lincoln.

Re: This reminds me of an old David Letterman list


2005-03-26 07:00 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hee! I b'lieve I either caught that ep, or read it in one of the collected list-books.


2005-03-25 06:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Morking the Mindy? OMG! LMAO! I have stange pictures in my head. Make them go away!


2005-03-26 08:01 pm (UTC) (Link)

I can't! *scrubs brain*