I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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Fic: S/X - R-ish
Because it's not "R" for that would be trademark violation. It is just like unto R.

For slashthedrabble challenge #22, which is games.

Title: Among The Ones They Do
Fandom: BtVS
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Words: 500
Warnings/kinks/squicks: Note username and hold your breath now... spanking.
Summary: Here's a game they don't play.


Among The Ones They Do

Here's a game they don't play:

They don't play "Whose hand is this?" when it's Xander's, and the willingly upturned backside it's landing on, the squirming, shuddering form across his lap, belong to Spike.

Sometimes they pretend a little -- or a lot -- about the 'willingly,' but the other, where certain nights when everything's gone still and he's too damn twitchy not to think too much, Xander watches the drooping platinum head, hears, feels the groans, and wonders which words Spike's holding back, and to whom, who's punishing him really, for which hundred year old wrongs... They don't play that.

Not since that night when -- overtired in that ground-down, dusty way of the longest day ever until the next double-shift -- Xander asked. In the ringing silence that was the echo of a slap, with a sharpness in his voice that hit harder than the palm of his hand ever could, harder than anything he'd ever gripped when flesh just wasn't enough to do the job.

Xander couldn't -- can't -- say why. Why that extra twist of meanness in a question he'd always promised to keep to himself, because it didn't matter, he would be whatever, whoever, Spike needed him to be. Only fair, for what Spike is to him: lover, taunter, pinochle partner, safest confessor ever since Xander can always claim Spike's lying if he tells.

But he asked, and Spike for a moment gasped like his lungs had forgotten what he was, the rest of him suddenly rigid. Spine tree-trunk straight, head whipped around and wide eyes staring back. No hint of hurt at first, just mystified, and whatever part of Xander pushed the question out in the first place was sickly disappointed. Then the lowering of Spike's eyelids, thinned-out lips, and Xander felt the sickness come for real, deep in the pit of his gut.

Silence warred with 'sorry' for long enough -- just precious seconds where Xander couldn't make his lips move, much as he wanted to, more than anything -- that it didn't matter anymore. Because shift and creak and the world turned upside down, and he stared at a vampire's toes, remembered just how fast Spike was.

Some things he forgot sometimes, like Spike forgot not to breathe -- until it was Xander's toes digging in the carpet, and Xander's breath held and then gulped, and Spike's hand splatting hard against his ass, red and redder to the slo-mo beat of his words. "You. Dim. Fucking." And two smacks there, one for each syllable. "Twat! It. Is. Only. Ever. You." And others, terrible, tender, true, hot against his skin like they were leather in Spike's hand.

If Xander screwed his eyes shut so tight that nothing could leak out and there were tiny glowfish in the darkness in his head, if he shoved his ass up higher not for how hard it made him, but because goddammit, yes, he deserved it, no one would ever know but him and Spike -- and Spike won't tell.

So. They don't play that anymore.



2005-04-22 09:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

Loverly bit of total trust and honesty, or maybe just whatever passes for that on a utilitarian level.

Julia, don't think about my comments too hard, I'm riding on a wave of "finally sent it to the beta" endorphins


2005-04-22 09:53 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!

maybe just whatever passes for that on a utilitarian level

Yes, I think they're very much about 'whatever works' and giving it the bigger names makes them very uncomfortable. At least out loud.


I'm riding on a wave of "wrote something that almost passes for smut, for the first time in... um... over a year?" endorphins, so I'm right there with ya.


2005-04-22 10:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

Lovely rhythms in this.
And it passes for smut alright!


2005-04-22 10:57 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thankee! And yay, I pass!


2005-04-22 11:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

Shocked, I am SHOCKED to discover spanking going on in this...


[checks LJ]

Oh. Never mind then.


2005-04-23 04:40 am (UTC) (Link)

Your winnings, sir. Your paddle, your highness...

(Deleted comment)


2005-04-23 04:41 am (UTC) (Link)

Wait, does this mean you pay me now? :-D

(Deleted comment)


2005-04-23 05:23 am (UTC) (Link)

Oooh! You have candy!!!


2005-04-23 01:18 am (UTC) (Link)

this "like unto R" fic is "like unto fabulous." no wait, just fabulous... unless someone's trademarked that...


2005-04-23 04:43 am (UTC) (Link)

Possibly Lorne?

Someone at connexions -- I think it may've been moosesal -- in discussing canonically 'obviously gay' characters, said, "Well the difference is, Andrew's gay. Lorne is just Fabulous."



2005-04-23 03:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Mmmmm. Nice. Twisted and kinda hurty, but that's what makes it so nice. *g*


2005-04-23 04:47 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you. I think what draws me to S/X is that they're both obviously laden with Issues that, while they might be particularly suited towards eventually solving them for each other, give them plenty of room to be immensely stupid along the way.


2005-04-23 05:30 am (UTC) (Link)

They do both lend themselves to doing the dumb thing with the best of intentions. They're such guys. I also like the whole "we've got Issues" thing that is inherent in an S/X pairing. Does make things more interesting.


2005-04-23 06:36 am (UTC) (Link)



2005-04-23 08:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

*g* Thanks!


2005-04-23 01:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

um. wow.


2005-04-23 08:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you!


2005-04-23 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh. Just perfect.So much going on, so much pain and love and mistakes and regrets.


2005-04-23 08:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you! I was missing writing S/X so much. Still am, really, but these ficlets are helping.

(Deleted comment)


2005-04-25 01:38 pm (UTC) (Link)


Thank you.

Among The Ones They Do


2005-05-10 11:47 pm (UTC) (Link)

YES! You've made it so much more than "kink", a word which barely describes any of it. Perfect, hot, and moving.

If Xander screwed his eyes shut so tight that nothing could leak out and there were tiny glowfish in the darkness in his head

Such a lovely turn of phrase.

Re: Among The Ones They Do


2005-05-11 04:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you! I was trying for more than kink here, for all that I, y'know. included my kink. *g* Glad it worked.