I don't know who you pissed off or refused to fellate to deserve getting cast in Alone In The Dark, but I somehow suspect you, Alexis Denisoff, and Alyson Hannigan have an enemy in common, or possibly an agent. Except at least their hideously bad and incomprehensible movie has blowjobs and pseudo-lesbian frolics, and bizarrely slashy Russian men. And trackpants.
Currently your biceps are the only thing stopping me from popping out this dvd, and I almost never stop a movie before it's over, no matter how bad.
ETA: The power of biceps does not compel me. *presses eject*
- Dear Christian Slater: