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I Blame the Dutch mpoetess
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At a loss here, but - fannish sadness and a PSA


I wasn't sure what to believe when this comment about tenebraeli was left on my most recent public post; the person it's about and the person who left it have had issues in the past that made me wonder if it wasn't a rather sick prank, especially since there was a mostly positive entry in Olwen's journal for the date in question. I still have some questions about the phrasing and details in the comment, because that's not how the situation between them rested as I understood it from Olwen herself.

I would've been much more pleased to discover that it was a prank, though, than to find an obituary in the Monterey Herald, but sadly, there is one. Unless that isn't genuine, Olwen has passed away. No details were given beyond what you can read in the links there, and I have none.

The PSA part is this: if the comment about Olwen's computer is accurate, and assuming it does offer access to her LJ either because the password is stored on it or because she left it logged in, those who have her friended and/or on sensitive filters might want to change that, if you don't want people who are not Olwen to have access to your locked posts.

ETA: Some additional information from brangwy, which seems to confirm what I'm sure a lot of us were thinking.

ETA2: Also, there's a guestbook on the obituary, for those who wish to leave personal messages.


light_emerges

2006-10-17 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)

To all who can see this and mpoetess I hope it's alright to post this here.

I understand why some of you had a difficult time believing me because of the last argument we had. What wasn't discussed is that her and I resolved our differences not that long ago and I have already read all the posts that were written about me. I'm not angry or hurt because when her and I argued, we REALLY argued. And of course her friends want to be on her side just like my flist were on mine.

The message I left on your LJ's were 2 minutes after I found out. Because the police took all the computers, Steve and Cody couldn't reach me. Steve drove by my house yesterday, recognized my car and left a note.

I called him to verify, got dressed, left the messages and went over to his place.

Her sister Jenny, Jessica, Violet and myself spent nine hours going through her room today. Packing stuff up for Goodwill, taking things for ourselves and letting Steve choose what he wanted.

Yes, she died of suicide and Steve told me how but today I received a different answer from her sister Jenny. There are a few things that don't quite add up and things are becoming a little more bizarre.

A note was left but has not been released, not even to Steve. I was called by the Monterey Police Dept today. I was asked to come in tomorrow to answer questions about her home life.

I'm very scared because, well, I was around when some not so pleasant stuff happened. I will be very frank with you. I will tell the truth and unfortunately that may cause some problems for Steve.

Deep inside I'm very angry with her. We had a pact when it came to suicide. We were both sick and spoke of it often. If she had to be hospitalized, I would act crazy and get checked in with her. I told her that I would be a surrogate for her and Steve because she all of a sudden wanted a child. Looking back, that should have been a warning. Olwen and I despised the idea of being tied down with kids.

Goddess there is so much more but I have spammed your LJ enough. I apologize. I will write my thoughts in my own Lj but am keeping every thing about her public.

There are two people, you mpoetess and you Eleanor (brawngy) that I especially want to address. Olwen loved you both extremely. You weren't just Lj friends to her. You were "real." I thought you should know.

thebratqueen

2006-10-17 02:18 am (UTC) (Link)

Thank you for keeping us posted.

light_emerges

2006-10-17 02:21 am (UTC) (Link)

Ah, you! She spoke of you as well. You got her started on LJ. She was VERY grateful for that.

thebratqueen

2006-10-17 03:03 am (UTC) (Link)

She pimped me into LJ when I was just starting in Buffy & Angel fandom. There's one line in one of her stories that I'll always love. It's a shame that her illness kept her from ever seeing that she had worth and a place in the world.

And if anything I say comes off as incoherent or wrong in any way I apologize. Flu = wonky brain.

light_emerges

2006-10-17 06:08 am (UTC) (Link)

That's right, she introduced you. Sorry about that. Every thing you're saying is coherent, no worries. I'm sorry you have the flu.

She never saw the world in the right shade *rose colored glasses.* Hers seemed to have a shade of black.

I remember there was a time you two weren't speaking because she decided to go back to Steve AGAIN, she was very upset.

But in all fairness, every one that de-added her did the RIGHT thing. This was the fourth time and she had NO reason to come back here.

Monterey betrayed her.

mpoetess

2006-10-17 02:22 am (UTC) (Link)

You are very welcome to post here, and we're all thankful for being told what's happened/happening.

light_emerges

2006-10-17 05:56 am (UTC) (Link)

I just wanted to share these with all of you. These are the last two pictures I took of Olwen. Yeah, we were a little morbid but found beauty in it I guess.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


And to answer someone's question, she meant to go through with it. She waited for Steve to leave, unplugged ALL the phones and hid them under her bed. She locked her door and put her dresser in front of it and left a note. All of her other "attempts" she never left a note and made sure she would be found somehow.

Of course, the way she was found was conveyed to me by Steve so there may be some, uh, not truths? AGAIN, this is MY opinion, I'm not trying to turn any of you against him.

thebratqueen

2006-10-17 11:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you for the further details. It's really kind of you to keep us posted. Keep us in the loop if you learn more?

And she looks great in those pictures. They're good images to remember her by.

light_emerges

2006-10-18 03:34 am (UTC) (Link)

No problem. I know she had many, many friends on her flist but you, mpoetess and brawngy were spoke of most. It was ALL GOOD things and we all had common interests so she would tell me of some of your amazing stories.

I received some disturbing news today about the circumstances surrounding her death. Officer Gentry was first on the scene and now it's in the hands of Det. Carrizsuio. I asked if I could read the note and the exact details of her death.

She said to me, "unfortunately until the Coroner releases his report to me I cannot tell you anything." I then said something pretty nasty.

"Her husband is a compulsive liar that I don't speak with (I do actually speak with him because I'M the only person cleaning her room, no one will come over) but I digress. I asked her if she could AT LEAST say yes or no to how she died. She asked me what I heard and I told her EXACTLY what Steve told me.

She tied her legs together, her hands together, and duct taped a plastic bag over her head. Her exact words to me were, "there was NO plastic bag." I at this point began crying because I have no clue what really happened. We talked a little longer, I think she felt sorry for me, but she said one last thing to me that I cannot repeat publicly. If you allow me to write you an email, I will tell you what was said.

To anyone who still has doubts about me, I understand. You are however WELCOME to call the MONTEREY POLICE DEPARTMENT and ask for Officer Gentry first, he'll tell you what he saw (he was first on scene) OH SHIT, he was the first person to tell me there was no plastic bag, sorry, I write terribly and I'm extremely boggled plus my grammar is horrid. Too much information in two days.

What else, I know there's more. Shit. I do know that I was promised a copy of the report and death certificate. I will NOT post it but will email it you.

There are some things I found today in her room that I KNOW she didn't want Steve to see, I took them. She has almost 400 books and they're all going to me. I did want to itemize them for you all but it's just too many. I have, so far, 18 boxes in my room. What I would love for you to do is if you know what type of stuff she has and you want them, I will mail them out for free and just charge shipping. You'll pay the shipping once the item arrives because I won't know what it will be until I send it.

There is A LOT of Science Fiction and Fantasy.

McKinley
Anne McRaffe (sp?)
Practchett- TONS on tape and CD too
Gabaldoun on tape, cd, hard back and paper back
LOTR
Potter

Oh God, I have just TOTALLY spammed you. I'm SO SORRY. I'm so tired and want you to know everything that I don't stop and think, "hey maybe this person would like some space on their post."

One last thing. Yes, Olwen told the truth about me. I stole some of her stories, changed characters but I plagiarized her journal because I wanted ppl to like me and I was angry and I don't type well and blah blah blah. I did publicly apologize and shut down the site however I believe that most ppl don't know it was ME so I just want to say that I am the person who stooped that low.

I will update daily and again all of my entries regarding her will be public and PLEASE feel free to comment or ask questions. I'll answer what I can.

Thank you in advance for your time and I apologize because I KNOW this post is all over the place (I guess you can see why I became a plagiarizer back then).


light_emerges

2006-10-18 03:39 am (UTC) (Link)

Shit, I thought this was TBQ's journal because I answered through my email but I did want you to see this too.

bangs head against wall...

thebratqueen

2006-10-18 03:39 am (UTC) (Link)

By all means feel free to email me (thebratqueen at livejournal dot com). I promise I won't repeat anything publically. At this point I feel it's like - I dunno - the end of her story deserves to be known? If that makes any sense? I feel like so much of Olwen's life was unfortunately about how she slipped through the cracks, and now that all we've got left is her death I don't want that to slip either.

I wouldn't be surprised if the duct tape story isn't true, though. Based on what you were told in terms of the taping I don't think it's physically possible for somebody to bind themselves up like that.

God. Poor Olwen.

light_emerges

2006-10-18 03:56 am (UTC) (Link)

I will be honest and tell you that some of her entries were exaggerated. She felt very alone and needed a lot of attention. This is horrible to say but Steve and I would sometimes call her a "drama queen." There were many times where I couldn't speak to her because I was tired of all the drama. She made things harder on herself but it was, I think, she was comfortable being a victim. Her life was a shitty one but she did have many opportunities to change it. If you wish, I will name ALL of them.

I'm sorry. I'm still angry that she left me behind. When I was suicidal she kept me going by telling stories of how if we just lived through this hell we would be rewarded in the end by a Goddess we both believed in. She didn't do her part.

I won't let, or try my hardest to make sure that nothing slips. I will eventually forgive her and I DO love her but I want to get to the bottom of ALL of this. I shall email you. Thank you for the address.

(no subject) - thebratqueen, 2006-10-18 04:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - light_emerges, 2006-10-18 04:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thebratqueen, 2006-10-18 04:13 am (UTC) (Expand)

light_emerges

2006-10-17 06:00 am (UTC) (Link)

*crying*

I know you were especially NOT thrilled with me back then but for you to say this means A LOT.

You DID however make valid points back then. You read people very well.

Nikita

starbrow

2006-10-17 05:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thanks for this, it helps to know some more of the details. Olwen was a beautiful, kind, good person, and she suffered far more than anyone deserves.

I wish I could have met her -- I will never cease being sad that I didn't get the chance (we were meant to go out to California in August and couldn't). Sometimes she made me upset and frustrated, but it was only because I cared so much and hated to see the pain she was in.

The world is just that bit darker, sadder, without her.

light_emerges

2006-10-18 03:36 am (UTC) (Link)

I understand, truly. If you come back to this page, scroll up. I just spammed poor mdpoetess with a huge update.