Leoff, bless his strange little soul, and a few others, got a fucked up wildfeed today -- next week's ep, instead of tomorrow's. (Today's, for Canucks.) Not a delayed April Fool's gag -- he's completely serious.
And... well, fuck.
Because we couldn't let Xander be even the *slightest* bit ambivalent about Spike, could we. Might destroy the rampaging anvils about Xander still having it bad for Buffy. Nor, of course, could we let Xander be even remotely non-assheaded about the whole thing. /me smacks Xander.
Granted, *everyone's* being assheaded. Spike did something *wrong* in sleeping with Anya? Buffy dumps him and says there'll never be anything between them, and Dawn gets to jump his case like he's been fucking around on her sister? /me smacks Dawn.
I actually have no reason to smack Anya at this point, which surprises me. /me hugs Anya. For being more or less... reasonable.
/me smacks Spike, /me smacks Spike, /me smacks Spike, /me smacks Spike, /me smacks Spike, /me smacks Spike, /me smacks Spike, /me smacks Spike, /me cries.
Well, not really, but fuck. Dammit. I knew this was coming and I'm *still* livid. It's not that the writing of the scene is bad, at all, from what I can tell. But could we have been a little less subtle? A little less ambiguous? On the jesus-I'm-not-allowed-to-love-him-anymore scale, this is pretty fucking clear. And nothing -- nothing do we get to see of him realizing he was wrong right then -- stopping on his own. No, she has to throw him across the room. Cut to Xander coming in and Buffy saying Spike tried to hurt her. We have to wait until ... just.. arrgh. /me smacks ME.
And his response is, of course, "Must be the chip, gotta get it out, then I'll want to kill her again." Which is actually in character, big denial reaction, but... arrrgh. Let's just pile on the "Spike is eeeeevil and can't overcome it." Because conflicted is just too fucking subtle. /me smacks ME.
See and the the thing that gets to me is, it taints everything I write that's set before/after/elsewhere. Does it *matter* that CG was started two years ago and he's taken a different path? I've still got a character who Joss thinks is capable of raping someone he *loves* passionately. And with Mr. "I foreshadow three seasons ahead, or at least pretend I have, though I can't keep character continuity straight from one episode to the next" in charge, I feel like it's me who's totally misinterpreted the characters, and everything I write with them is just sort of blasted to shreds. The serious fic is laughable and the silly, lovey-dovey fic is so impossibly AU as to be horrible, as bad as the worst OOC goo-fest written by
*Note* -- Pointing out that I do recognize that it's not true, intellectually. I just feel like some of my best-beloved stories have been ripped apart, right now, and I'm going with the feeling. At some point, I think -hope- that I'll be able to look at CG and pretend this whole godforsaken angst-ridden fuck-up-all-the-characters season doesn't affect it. But right now, I'm pissed and annoyed and dejected.
I'm sure the evilistas (the "love him evil" people, not the "he deserves to be staked, let's discuss why Buffy is morally reprehensible for sleeping with him" people) are happy, since they would never be surprised at this. Fits with the character they've seen all along. Hell, I'm sure the people who've been preaching Spike's deserved demise at me will be overjoyed, since Spike apologists don't even have anything to say to this, except... gee, I wish ME hadn't done this.
/me smacks ME. /me smacks me. /me does not particuarly want to hear from people gloating that I should have listened to them all along about ye olde evil Spike. But the floor's open.
Oh yeah. And Tara dies. But we all knew that, right? I will cry over that next week.